moved on or let go? happy? life?

IDK and IDK ALSO hahaha. no idea, letting go will make me hurt and moving on will make me hurt even more. sometimes, I just have to try to accept it although i can't. I blame myself everyday for doing things in the wrong way. day by day I thought I have moved on but I guess I haven't yet. I can't love him more than a close friend and that's what makes me sad sometimes. The feelings? my feelings? it's complicated and messed up. I dont know what to do but just let it be. I'm sorry to my friend for not telling this thing to them, I just don't want them to see me cry infront of them. I know what they can do is support me, comfort me, tell me to stay strong and patient always. problems? so far this is the only problem I have, I don't want to involve in my dads prob because it's none of my business and also it's not related about me, so better I shouldn't mind it. Happy? uhm maybe abit yes? haha. I'm happy with what I have now, I'm happy to be with my family and friends but sometimes I feel even happier if my friends especially my classmate talk about him lol, everyday sudah biasa ma~~~ they like to tease me with his name and I don't mind at all xD

As I see nowadays, life is getting abit ok I guess? Maybe some people are ok and some are not. Some maybe just pretend their life is just fine like normal, well that's what I think la. My life is ok, just sleepy and tired~~~~~ nowadays I sleep abit early like 9/10pm everyday @@. Today is really a tiring but fun day cuz of the damn larian ria and I'm suppose to get a number for the larian but the teacher so unfair -..- they ask me and others behind me to go out the line, and guess what? they let the others who come late get the number, I mean like wtf seriously? what is this? this is so unfair! urgh I'm so mad about it but I just let it be, it's all past haiz ~.~ tomorrow we morning session going to take the RM100 oh yeayyyyyyyyyy x)

Oh yeah. that ummi told me her HAZ's friend want join go jj with us -.- NO and then his friend say if Haz follow, he won't follow GOOD LA ==' but one thing is, LATER THE TWO LOVE BIRD GO DATING AND THEY LEAVE ME ALONE HAIZZ LUCKY JEALOUS AND FOREVER ALONE CAN YOU FEEL ME? SIAO HORRR T________T but not confirm yet ma xD but if it's already confirm........no comment == better I layan him and my other friends than layan those two love birds == cao both of u puiihhh! wakaka ok la I want go sleep now, babyeee and goodnight ^^